Coaching - Turning your dreams into reality by Sue Connolly
The wonderful thing about us as human beings is, that even if our lives aren't as great as we would wish them to be, we have the remarkable ability to create our own imaginary world in which we have the car we want, the family we want, the fit healthy figure we want, the partner we'd like to spend the rest of our lives with and that fabulously fulfilling career. In short, we are able to dream! Doesn't it excite you when you lose yourself in that imaginary world? It creates within you the most wonderful feelings and emotions, almost as if that place was as real, and tangible as the world you do live in.
As a coach, I have a lot of respect for dreams. Dreams help you create a vision of how you would like your life to be, whether that's your personal life, the work you do, or how you would like your family to be. All outcomes must start with a dream of some kind, and it has often been the case that some people have achieved great success in their lives with what started as a dream. The crucial question is -how did they do it, and what can we learn about turning our dreams into reality?
Firstly, let's look at the basics. Don't think that if you dream of something, that, if you've conjured up the vision of how you want things to be, then you've have determined a goal for yourself. There is quite a gap between dreams and goals, and if you don't want to spend the rest of your life wishing it had turned out another way, then you'd better realise fast that the fundamental differences are that goals have a timeline and accountability.
When you have a goal, what you are saying is that there is something you want, and intend to achieve, and with that comes the expectation that if you want the goal to become a reality then you need a plan and to take some action! In my experience, this is where we become unstuck. It's remarkable that we can conjure up the myriad of excuses that we do, to stop us from taking that step of action each day (even the smallest single step!).
During my work with clients, it's not uncommon to encounter those who have difficulty taking action. They become paralysed by ‘what ifs...'. Trapped by their own inertia, and retreating into their own comfort zone, even if their goal is of vital importance to them. It's my job to shake them out of that and help them get back on track, and often, in order to do that, I'll ask them - ‘What story did you tell yourself that stopped you from taking action?'. Now most of the time this question makes people take stock. After all, how many of us think about the excuses we make as stories, when in fact that is all they are. To us they seem valid reasons why we can't and didn't do something (and we just have to have a reason don't we! It wouldn't do to admit that we just couldn't be bothered, or where too scared). I believe, and this has been born out in my work with clients, that when we realise that theses excuses are simply stories, then we take away the power they have to stop us moving forward.
So, if you've got to take action to achieve your goals, and you're committed to taking it, then you need to plan the right steps to take the correct action. It's a bit like plotting a course using a map and a navigational tool. Firstly, you need to know where your starting point is (the reality of your current situation), and you need to know where you want to get to (your goal).When you know where your destination is, that's when you plot your course. Like a journey, you get to choose whether you get to your destination quickly, and with the minimum of disruption, or whether you take a few detours on the way. In terms of achieving a goal, what this means is that every decision you make will either take you nearer to, or further away from your goal, and the likelihood is that the more decisions you make that take you further away from your goal, the less likely you are to be driven to achieve it. It by no way means you won't achieve it, but it can be disheartening to realise that you may have pushed it further away. Each day you wake up, you get to decide how quickly and efficiently you get your life to be how you want it to be, and start to live your dreams as a reality.
Yes I can hear you! Stop shouting! I know things might not always go as planned. You've had a flood in the kitchen, the dog's pooped on the carpet, and your mother wants you to drive her to the shops! Well, guess what? Life happens to us all, and it's going to go on happening whether you achieve your goals or not. What is important is how you deal with those every day ‘surprises' - your level of tenacity and ability to over come obstacles. Think for a moment about some of the successful entrepreneurs of our time - Sir Richard Branson, Sir Alan Sugar or Donald Trump. Do you imagine that they didn't have setbacks in their lives? Of course they did, but they found a way of getting round those obstacles, getting back on track and taking the actions they said they would to get themselves where they wanted to be in life. Someone once said that the difference between winners and losers is that winners do things that losers aren't prepared to do. How true, and yet we can give so much power to setbacks by allowing them to hinder our progress. What successful people do, those who are turning dreams into reality, is to factor them in, allow for them, deal with them and get right back on track. Now don't misunderstand me and think that I'm unsympathetic to peoples' problems. I'm on your side, and I'm passionate about getting people to understand that they have choices, and those choices determine the quality of their experience of their life. I'm not necessarily talking about materialistic things, although there is nothing wrong in wanting such things, but I'm also talking about other choices we make such as choosing to spend time with our families so that we feel part of a unit and create a sense of belonging, or choosing to meditate each day so that we can reduce our stress levels. There are an infinite number of choices we face and decisions to be made, and if we can't be in charge of making them then who can? It is you that gets to design your own life, and that's an exciting prospect!
So, I invite you to start today. After you've read this article, grab yourself a pen and write down one single goal for yourself. Remember, this is your dream, so you get to choose the goal you want. Think as big as you like, or as small as you like! Plan what steps of action you'll need to take to get what you want and take one single action TODAY. Yes TODAY! Don't put it off, it's only one step. It might be closing the wrapper on that chocolate bar and putting it backing the cupboard, or researching what qualifications you'll need for a particular job, or telling the family that dinner WILL be eaten round the table each evening. That's all you need to think about and do today, but that one step could be the start of the rest of your life.
NEXT TIME; Be careful what you wish for!
Sue Connolly is a Corporate and Personal Development Coach specialising in Confidence Coaching and Team Building. She is also a qualified MBTI facilitator, and delivers Pro-social Modelling training. For further information email: sueconnollycoaching@gmail.com or visit her website: www.sueconnollycoaching.com
